A soldiers dilemma

Wondering ; if I should continue this fight, if I even want to let these horrible people dictate my family for the rest of our lives? Without a free promise, should I allow more lies told to them just for jealous people to be allowed to rip their world from beneath them should they decide? Or should I use the tools I've been blessed with for a greater good in hopes my children can actualize the dream I believed for so long. But they do need me, as I need them. Each of them hold a piece of my soul and I am truly aching from missing them. What happened to us is horrible, and I am still in shock. The memories of us dressing in costume and blasting music to dance and clean seems to also be a dream. I truly believe I am one of the few sane left that can see past my own wants, but am I? Is this what they want? A pretend law, a pretend justice, as long as you can threaten others into conformity or lies to suit your needs? But if my happiness is the cost, then it's sad I am your baseline of state of being. Thanks for the power, but I don't need your happiness or misery to actualize my own state. This must be why they hate me, because they can't break me. And even more hate when I reciprocate their image like a mirror. Harming others brings me no joy, but not harming them brings my children no justice. I have no choice but to give my kids what no one else seems to offer, truth and freedom. I will love them unconditionally,  even if they hate me later for it. But I cannot think to continue a life contentedly knowing what they are doing to other kids. How could I ever look mine in the eye again knowing, this will destroy just later and not now.....

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